Drugs, sex scandals and butt tattoos – I don’t think I could think of anything worse than spending a week in Magaluf.  The resort has rocketed in popularity over the past few years and has been attracting thousands of people to spend their ‘lad/girl holidays’ on its crisp beaches.  And of course, amongst those thousands are the island’s current favourite tourists: the Brits.

I haven’t been on holiday in six years – so yes there is a slight sting of jealousy present when I see pictures of people I know jetting off to their week in the sun – but TV programmes like The Magaluf Weekender and Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents make me more than happy to still be at home in bed.  My personal rule for going on holiday is this: don’t do anything you wouldn’t do at home.  Easy. Obviously that’s something thirteen year old me had no trouble following but being the age I am now shouldn’t be an excuse to condone such behaviour.  My mind boggles at most people’s sudden change of mindset once they step off their plane, I mean, it really isn’t necessary to make the whole week about sleeping around and having competitions over ‘who can drink this watermelon full of alcohol the fastest haha’. So obviously you could imagine my reaction when another ‘New Magaluf sex scandal’ was plastered on the news.

The source came originally from The Sun’s website – which is hardly surprising – and has now spread across the internet.  Unfortunately, I haven’t read the original post as I have a personal vow to never read The Sun but, from what I’ve grasped elsewhere, the couple believe themselves to be pretty damn admirable.  The two were spotted in the sea, during the day, in front of children, relentlessly going at it.  If there’s something that’s going to drop your dignity levels then this is exactly it even if the couple seemed perfectly nonchalant about it.  Another news story claims that porn sites have been buying the raunchy videos that teenage girls have either uploaded themselves or have been snapped on mobile phones by onlookers.  What’s a better achievement than having yourself named on a porn website?  Maybe the woman who was reported to have performed sex acts on 24 men during a bar crawl in July is ready to become a celebrity in her new found career as a prostitute?  I don’t live with a lifestyle of applauding morons who think it’s socially acceptable to do things like this (some people were actually reported to have high-fived the couple having sex in the sea) so it makes me wonder and wonder and wonder why every other teen and young adult in Britain seems to.

Some of the most explicit clips on the porn website – which we are choosing not to name – are shot on booze boats.

I watch enough TV to know exactly how some young people act on their holidays and it’s enough to have decided for me that Magaluf and all the other mainstream and overrated party resorts are definitely to be avoided.  Not long ago I was actually looking at booking a last minute holiday to Majorca all up until I found out (my geography knowledge is seriously unimpressive) that Magaluf was a resort on the island of Majorca. That was the deal breaker for me. Possibly one of the most unappealing things someone could ever suggest to me is spending a whole week in somewhere like Magaluf.  So many people have booked their holidays for places like Maga, Zante, Kavos and Ibiza and it’s so frustrating because I don’t think they realise that there ARE other places accessible by airplane.  The resort has also adopted its new and although accurate, rather unhilarious nickname ‘Shagaluf’ which already is enough to make me violently cringe.

I probably sound like the most boring nineteen year old fathomable but spinning around a pole half-clothed and my name splashed in newspapers because of a sex scandal is not my idea of a decent holiday.  Feminism is ripe at the moment and even though I’m not a strong feminist myself, it’s shameful to watch girls and women make utter fools of themselves when on holiday.  Factors like this are what fuels hatred towards the Spanish resort.  I know I probably shouldn’t blame Magaluf itself but when talking about the behaviour of most tourists, ‘Magaluf’ seems to act as a collective noun.

So when it comes down to the state of most that holiday there, to the high rise in publicised sex scandals, to the irritating holiday chants, Magaluf is probably my least favourite place in the world.  I feel as though the resort brings out the worst in young people and it’s almost exactly like what happens to the college kids on Spooky Island in the Scooby Doo movie – they all seem to end up leaving the island brainwashed.  Although I’d prefer a plane full of the Scooby Doo teens than the ones that return from Magaluf.

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About the author

Georgia Goulding

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19 year old creative writing student looking to change the world one word at a time. Strong supporter of LGBT and animal rights.