If you can’t make her say “yes”, you can’t make her say “YES! YES! OH GOD, YES!”


So, we’ve probably all seen or at least heard about the recent Facebook fanpage which trivialises and jokes about rape. The group, called “You know shes playing hard to get when your chasing her down an alleyway” with 200,847 “likes” is extremely inappropriate and many say it should be banned. Not only is the page insulting to those who have been viciously victimised and raped in the past, but it acts as a warning to the future of rape and how society views such a disgusting and violent event. It is worrying and baffling as to how this page is still surviving and shocking that the Facebook creators refuse to ban it because they view it as “freedom of expression”.

Firstly, the lack of care Facebook creators have shown for the insulting and offensive page is atrocious. Facebook recently banned women from uploading photos of themselves breastfeeding because they see it as inappropriate, yet having a group which blatantly trivialises and jokes about something as sensitive and serious as rape (whether the page creators say it’s nothing to do with rape or not) is openly accepted. The worrying thing is, the creators of the page seem to be blissfully unaware of the ambiguity and rape connatations of the page, believing it is just a “joke”. (Not to mention their spelling and grammar is also atrocious. Who raised these morons?) The question is, who is to blame here? Do we blame the creators of the page for their insensitive and disgusting view of such a horrific subject matter, or do we blame Facebook creators for doing nothing to help with the feminist war on terror?

Perhaps it is the patriarchal, misogynst, male-dominated society which is to blame. If you are aware of the recent Slutwalks, you will know that societal views of rape still need to be contested and changed. When a woman cannot bring her rapist to justice because she was wearing a short skirt and was therefore clearly asking to be victimised, sexually abused and have her right to choice completely disregarded, you know we need reformation and resolution to this sickening problem. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or taking drugs. Women don’t get raped because they were dressed provocatively. Women don’t get raped because they choose to walk away from the man buying them drinks in the bar, teasing him because he achieved nothing more than the art of conversation. Women get raped because someone raped them, and as soon as society realises that, the better.

So I urge you, please DO NOT join this obscene and vulgar Facebook page which openly jokes about such a misunderstood, heart-breaking and life-threatening topic. What many of us forget, and clearly what the creators of the fanpage have elected to ignore, is that men are victims of sexual abuse and rape too. So here is my little message to the creators of the page. Joking about rape is not a clever way to target and belittle women and use your sexist views to assert your apparent male authority. Men (and immature, insensitive, moronic boys, like yourselves) are raped too. You think rape is funny, acceptable and trivial? I’d watch out for those alleyways which you’re chasing girls down, because one day you may bump into someone who actively shares those beliefs. Who’s playing hard to get now?

  • http://www.facebook.com/earivir Harry Parkhill

    Ever heard of a little thing called irony? Isn’t it meant to be ironic that they’re jokingly saying rape is funny when everyone knows that it really isn’t…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000756074325 Francesca Elizabeth Pearson

      Not really. Why can’t people discuss rape as what it is – a serious, important, and devastating matter, without having to trivialise it, use irony, or purely take the absolute piss? I just don’t think we should try and see such horrific and destructive topics and events in a “lightened” manner. Sometimes things are just depressing and upsetting, why can’t we accept that and not have to turn everything into a fucking joke?

  • http://www.facebook.com/mlymer1 Matthew Lymer

    Both of you have valid points. On the one hand, these kind of things are touchy subjects and undermining them will no doubt offend people with strong feelings towards the subject. However, I’m a firm believer that either everything is okay to make jokes about, or nothing is okay to make jokes about – so long as its clear that the idea of irony isn’t used to undermine the topic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alex.vocat Alex Vocat

    I’m afraid I have to disagree with your view that the Facebook page of which you speak should be banned. You can’t apply freedom of expression to a select sector of society, it has to apply to everyone. You are completely in your rights to be offended and denounce the article, and you are also in your rights to write this article, but that same freedom must be granted to the authors of that page. It is simply impossible to censor because it involves drawing a line between offensive and non-offensive material, which would always be heavily subjective.

    I agree about Facebook management’s inconsistency on the banning of pictures featuring breastfeeding women. That completely flies in the face of my point above. But I opt for the side of freedom for all, whereas you wish to ban everything that may be seen as offensive. I WANT to hear offensive and opposing views, I want to understand their context, where they come from and, most importantly, who holds them.

    In the case of jokes, it is up to the comedians to censor themselves. They must be free to say what they like, but as every comedian knows, offending for the sake of offending becomes crass, unimaginative and won’t get them far. You have the right to keep clear of anything you dislike, but I for one found the title of that Facebook page to be quite funny. You can think what you want about that sentence, but you can’t prevent others from reading it.

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    I could not resist commenting. Well written!